The true cost of my breastfeeding journey... dairy free...

Something I read the other day really riled me. 

It was when I was reading through some of the documents by Croydon CCG - to do with my previous post.

Basically, the Governing Body had decided that in order to cut down on the cost of prescribing specialised baby milk formulas for children with CMPA, it would be a good idea to encourage them to breastfeed.

'Huh?!'

I thought.

'What's that?'

Two things occurred to me at the time:

1. Yup! Having had major struggles when I was breastfeeding and had to find my own way through, there's no doubt... breast feeders need more support - bring it on!

2. Double standards. Breastfeeding 'aint cheap! NOT if you're gonna do it properly!! 

Yes you heard me!! I know they said that it was free, at breastfeeding school, but I beg to differ!

Actually, there's three things that occurred to me.

3. Why can't allergy mums have the same opportunities as other mums who have no allergies to deal with? 

I mean, it IS the 21st century after all - most mums can decide whether to bottle or breast feed. It's up to them. Why single out allergy mums, just 'cos it's not expedient for the CCG??

However, back to the breastfeeding. It 'AINT cheap!! 

How so??

Well, quite apart from the fact that I've spent I dunno HOW much on breastfeeding related stuff: 

• nipple shields 
• nipple cream
• bras 
• pads to go in them 
• breastfeeding tops 
• aprons 
• breast shells 
• gel pads to help me express  
• Jelonet to plaster over the cracks that appeared
• breastfeeding tea, when my supply ran low
• a machine to express, when the pain got too much (plus bottles and spares)... 

(yes, yes, yes, I may not have needed all of that stuff, but I wasn't to know that then, and I did use most of it - particularly through my struggles at the beginning) there's also: 

• the breastfeeding assistant who helped me in hospital
• the TEN midwives who came to visit me in the early stages, but who didn't really know how to help me (I had the feeling they may never have experienced breastfeeding themselves)
• the extra breast feeding groups I attended 
• the emergency visit I made to a clinic on a Saturday morning 
• the La Leche League breastfeeding counsellor who referred me to 
• the Maxillofacial surgeon, who cut my baby's tongue-tie, so I could feed more easily 
• the GP who discovered my nipples were infected and prescribed me antibiotics... 

I mean all of these people cost money - in wages... and still I felt I was left floundering!!

When you have cracks appearing in your nipples, that become craters, that start to disintegrate your nipple until you have nearly half missing (yes I'm not exaggerating); when you look at yourself horrified and wonder whether you will lose the rest of your nipple and be disfigured for life (thankfully it did grow back, after the drugs kicked in); when you know your baby still needs feeding because she's milk allergic and at that point you have no formula, and the advice is to continue feeding... what then?? 

There's the emotional cost, when things aren't working and you don't know which way to turn; the lack of sleep (breastfed babies seem to wake up more); the housework not done because your baby wants to feed... AGAIN??

And then there's my wages.

Yup! 

NO wages!!

And, here's the thing - if you breastfeed your baby you have to be available to your baby 24/7.

(Yes, yes, yes, I know about expressing. I tried. I failed. I tried everything - massaging, heat pads, endless pumping with the best pump on the market. My boobs just wouldn't cooperate - I used to get out about an ounce or so after about 45 minutes of pumping. Once time I hit the heady heights of three ounces, but that was a one-off, never to be repeated.) 

So I didn't go back to work.

The WHO (not the band, the World Health Organisation) recommend breastfeeding for the first two years of a baby's life. 

Two years wages (I actually fed longer, but that's beside the point)!!

How many families can afford that?? 

Especially if, like my sister, the mum is the major wage earner in the family.

Yes, yes, yes, the first months of maternity pay aren't so bad... but then it begins to drop away... and you start to feel uneasy. And if you worry about your career, or your finances... well the pressure to return to work is strong.

Now, don't get me wrong - I'm a huge, HUGE, fan of breastfeeding and I don't regret the choice to breastfeed my baby at all... well, after we got over the obstacles... but I do think women should have the choice - allergies or no.

Oh! And... did I mention cutting out dairy and the cost of all the dairy free food?? And if, like me, you find yourself intolerant to dairy afterwards??

Breastfeeding cheap??

Don't make me laugh!!


Update:

And if you're affected by the changes being proposed by Croydon and Richmond or are struggling to get hold of prescription formula, you may be interested to know that a campaign group has been set up. Called The Campaign for Milk Prescription Access, they can be found on Twitter and Face Book and have set up a website, see here.

Related posts:

So you're breastfeeding dairy free...

Is breastfeeding the dairy free baby finally over??

Our battle with tongue-tie

Related articles:

Breastfeeding in Mongolia

Why African babies don't cry

How the myth of the good baby is damaging breastfeeding

Blog post by Unicef: ...when breastfeeding support is offered to women, the duration and exclusivity of breastfeeding is increased.

So you're breastfeeding dairy free... some things you may be missing out on!

Hello there, fellow dairy free Mum!

*Waves*

Who even knew that cow's milk protein could pass through your boob juice and into your baby, eh?? I certainly didn't, before 'Baby' turned up allergic to the stuff! Apparently, it's not that common - that milk proteins go though the breast milk - but it doesn't really help you much, does it??

How are you feeling today? Positive, upbeat, ready for a challenge? Or hanging on in there by the skin of your teeth and not sure you even want to carry on? 

It's alright. Either way, I won't browbeat you to carry on, the choice is always YOURS, but this post has been written with YOU in mind, to help you on your way! 

1) Some Encouragement

• Well done for giving it a go, at the very least - not everyone who is faced with this challenge will (for whatever reason, but again no judgement here).

• Some people might think you're a bit weird. Ignore them. It's nothing to do with them. This is between you and your baby! 

• By going dairy free yourself, you will be well equipped to know which foods will be suitable for your dairy free child - should your bubba still be dairy free when it comes to weaning.

2) Calcium 

If you eliminate dairy from your diet as an adult, you need to make sure you keep an eye on your calcium intake. If you're a breastfeeding mum, you need around 1250 mg of calcium a day. Initially, I was advised to use a calcium supplement, but as I researched products and foods containing calcium, I began to take more control of my calcium intake through my diet. 

So for example, if a glass (roughly 200ml) of your dairy free milk substitute (unless it's organic) contains around a third of a normal person's daily amount of calcium (700 mg a day, so 250mg in a glass) then you can probably pretty soon work out ways of including that in your daily diet. For more ideas on how to get calcium through your diet, follow this link. But, if you are going to do things this way, make sure you stay on top of it and don't let it slide!

This orange juice is fortified with calcium

3) Vitamin D

Vitamin D is also important, because Vitamin D helps your body absorb calcium. Calcium supplements and most dairy free milks usually contain this already, but there are plenty of ways of obtaining this through your diet as well as through sunlight. If you'd like to know more, please see this post. 

4) Milk Substitutes

If you're going dairy free, you might be wondering what on earth you're going to do without milk. Don't worry, there are plenty of other options, all of which can be used in pretty much the same way as normal milk - although some have a few oddities! So, for example, although I generally prefer almond milk (I use unsweetened almond milk in my savory dishes), Koko coconut milk generally makes a better custard - just because it thickens better!

There are a range of milk substitutes out there, see here. They can be found in the longlife milk aisle or in the chilled section, alongside the milk, in most UK supermarkets. 

A range like this, will only be found in larger supermarkets.

Some notes of caution:

• Most mammalian milk proteins are very similar, so if your child is allergic to cow's milk protein they are highly likely to be allergic to other mammal milks too (sheep/goat etc.) 

• Lactose free milk has had the sugar removed, not the protein, hence it will still cause a reaction in those allergic to cow's milk protein.

• A2 milk waffles on about different proteins, but cow's milk protein of any variety is unsuitable for anyone allergic to cow's milk protein. 

• Rice milk is not advisable as a main milk drink for children under the age of five, so should also be avoided by breastfeeding mums. This is due to the levels of arsenic that naturally occur in rice. Personally, I don't consider this a loss, as I don't enjoy it. 

• Organic dairy free milk is not supplemented with calcium or any other vitamins, so if you're relying on dairy free milk for calcium, just bear that in mind!

For a more detailed breakdown of the nutritional values of various dairy free milks see here.

5) Butter... well, OK, marg! 

Okay, nothing tastes quite like butter - you've got me there, but there are some passable margarines out there, which you can use in much the same same way as any other margarine! My personal favourite is Pure Sunflower Margarine - found alongside all the other margarines in the supermarket. 

There are others - Vitalite, Stork Block (not the tub version), and some supermarket 'own' free from versions too. There's a new coconut based margarine by Koko, which is stocked by some branches of Waitrose. I tried it out at The Allergy Show in London, and it was certainly palatable.

Marks and Spencer's version.

Beware of brands that are also made with sunflower or olive oil, but are not dairy free - there are some out there!

6) Cheese

Cheese was probably the one thing I missed the most, when I first went dairy free! If, like me, you love your cheese, you may not find your perfect substitute, but the one that most people seem to enjoy is Violife. 

These days the 'original' version can be found in major branches of Tesco, Asda, Morrisons and Holland and Barrett, as well as many Health Food Stores, and if it's cooked or toasted, I don't mind it too much! It does come in various other varieties too,(including Parmesan), but you may have to try online for these - check out Alternative Stores, for a wider range.

This one is very popular!

In the US, Daiya is the one to watch out for - I've heard it is now available in one or two places in the UK, so keep your eyes peeled, you never know!

Just remember that Vegan cheese does not have the same amount of protein as normal cheese. Its nutritional value limited, compared to 'normal' cheese, so I tend to use it for flavoring other dishes (e.g. sprinkled on a home made dairy free lasagna). Don't expect it to contain much calcium, either!

Vegan cheese does not melt in quite the same way as 'normal' cheese. It tends to melt better in sauces, but on pizza or toast you may be disappointed. Some mozzarella-type cheeses, like Mozzarisella, melt best and the Violife pizza version is pretty good too.

One last thing, some people like to use nutritional yeast as a cheese flavouring. You can buy it in Holland and Barrett or health food shops. It smells like well-worn socks and doesn't really do it for me! You have been warned!

7) Yogurt

If you're okay with soya, you will be fine - you'll be able to find Alpro soya yogurts in most supermarkets and a child-friendly fromage frais in Tesco. A good Tesco Extra is, quite frankly, best place I go for chilled dairy free subs, unless you get Ocado in your area, or live near to a good Vegan store, or a Health Store like Whole Foods Market in London. Holland and Barrett are fast catching up though - so if yours has a chiller, check them out too!

Familiarise yourself with the Free From section in the chilled aisle at Tesco.

If you can't have soya, look out for coconut yogurts like Koko (Tesco, Asda, Morrisons ad Ocado), Co-yo (Waitrose, Tesco, online with Ocado) or Pudology (Ocado and Holland and Barrett). Holland and Barrett also sell 'Wot no dairy?' long life yogurts, which are made with pea protein instead, as well as Xotic, which is also made with coconut, is and long life too.

My personal favourite! This flavour is sadly not available at Tesco.

Be careful though, there are some apparently  'dairy free' alternatives that are produced on the same line as milk products. They are often, annoyingly, placed alongside dairy free products and marketed the same. Read labels carefully. If your little one is as sensitive as mine has been, and you eat them, you run the risk of a reaction via cross-contamination.

Alpro's soya, Koko and 'Wot no dairy?' yogurts all contain calcium, but the Co-yo and Pudology do not!

8) Ice Cream

As the temperature outside begins to hot up, you may wish to cool down! Fortunately, there is plenty of dairy free ice cream out there - just don't expect to find it sold alongside your Mr Whippy! My personal favourites are sold in Waitrose and are made by Almond Dream, but my little one loves Swedish Glace, which is soya based and found in Sainsbury's, Waitrose and Tesco.

Sadly not available, when out and about!

That said, Tesco have recently hit the dairy free jackpot, with these gluten and dairy free cornettos. They're in the Free From freezer section at Tesco. I can highly recommend these!

If you're out and about, keep your eyes peeled for sorbet or Gelato - some of these are dairy free, but not all, unless you got to Boho Gelato in Brighton (new one opening soon in Weymouth)! Alternatively, if you're near a Holland and Barrett with a freezer section, you may be lucky enough to find a small tub, containing a single serving of Booja Booja ice cream (made with cashews). I've not tried it as I can't eat cashews, but I've heard its delicious!

Booja Booja mini tub

Holland and Barrett also sell Perfect World ice cream, also pocket sized and made with cashews.

9) Cream

Wimbledon is fast approaching and what are strawberries without... cream!? If you're okay with soya, there's quite a few soya creams out there, on the supermarket shelves, including a squirty one called Schlagfix. If not there's always Oatly or Alpro rice cream (okay, I know I said no rice milk, but that's on a daily basis, a little rice cream now and then shouldn't do any real harm). In Tesco and Waitrose, you can now also get a small carton of coconut cream, by Alpro, as well as a creme fraiche by Oatly.

Similar to single cream.

Alternatively, you can put a tin of coconut milk in the fridge for two hours, whip it up, then add some vanilla and sweetener to taste. OR, I've found Co-yo Original makes a rather nice accompaniment for fruit.

10) Chocolate

As a woman you are practically duty bound to love chocolate! There's plenty out there, but it costs a bit more than the normal variety! I prefer Moo Free, which is also soya free and is sold by Waitrose and Sainsbury's (the larger stores, anyway). 

For a special treat I can definitely be persuaded to demolish a box of Booja Booja chocolates (Waitrose) or Cocoa Libre, check out their online store and stockists here! For more ideas, check out these posts.

11) Cake and biscuits

Oh yes, you can - indulge that is! There are cakes and biscuits in most Free From Supermarket aisles, although not so many in Tesco as in Sainsbury's I find! However, if you check some of the 'normal' packets, you can find some that are milk free! I used to love Respect Organics Carrot Cake (Tesco and Sainsbury's). The only reason I don't eat it anymore, is because I'm now gluten free too! 

I promise you, this tastes good!

These cup cakes, from Sainsbury's, I haven't tried, as they weren't around before I was gluten free, but they look good!

'Vanilla Fairies' by 'Emma's Country Cakes'

And if you've a little ones birthday coming up, check out the celebration cakes in the supermarkets, because quite a few are made without dairy. The Disney 'Frozen' cake available in Tesco and Sainsbury's, is just one of them!

As for biccies I used to love Hobnobs and my little one loves Waitrose Essential Chocolate Bourbons. Check out our 'Fave Products' page for more!

12) Cafes!

If, like me, you need your coffee, well this is an essential! However, you may want to go a little easy if you're breastfeeding! Just remember that the caffeine will go through you and keep your kiddo awake too! 

Most cafes stock soya milk and Starbucks now will serve coconut milk (for an extra 40p) - certainly the big chains, anyway, but be aware that if your baby is very sensitive to cow's milk protein you probably will have to give those lattes, cappuccinos and hot chocolates a miss - unless they have a machine dedicated to dairy free types, that is! Otherwise, however carefully they clean the spouts, traces of milk protein will most likely make their way into your coffee (see here for an explanation). I now stick with a black Americano (with a trace of sugar to take off the bitterness) but have seen people take in their own little bottle of milk!

In terms of snacks and nibbles in these places, Costa's mini gluten free cherry bakewells by the till and some of their wrapped gingerbread biscuits are made without dairy. Cafe Nero have coconut bars near the till, but don't expect anything like that in Starbucks - crisps, nuts and fruit bread without the butter are your lot there! We used to order out little one the sausage bap - it said it was dairy free, but some traces must have made their way through, possibly whilst being heated on the grill, so we don't take that risk anymore!

This bar is a bit crumbly but quite tasty!

If you can find a Coffee 1 near you, they sell a few dairy free cakes, although there's not much else on the menu that is dairy free, the other thing to be aware of is that they're not individually wrapped, so you run the risk of cross-contamination. I've also heard that Sainsbury's and Waitrose cafes will allow you to pick up free from products from their aisles and pay for and consume them in the cafe area, but there's none of those near me!

13) Eating out

So you're dairy free right now, but you still want to eat out, don't you? And, if you're careful, you still can! Of course you'll need to plan ahead a little bit before you go out. We usually start by checking out restaurants online - many chain restaurants can offer you something, although there's not so much choice as you may have been used to! 

In recent months, a website was launched called 'Can I eat there?' which works on the basis that members recommend places they've eaten that have been safe for them. This is a great idea, but you still need to check out a restaurant thoroughly, before you eat. I have found that restaurants can vary - even restaurants where you've previously been okay can still get things wrong. In my experience it's often down to the staff on the day. 

More information on eating out dairy free can be found on this page.


14) Baking & Cooking

A whole lot of stuff becomes daunting when you first go dairy free, one of which is cooking. Suddenly the rules appear to change. You need to check labels carefully and discover what dairy free substitutes will do for you. I well remember being gobsmacked by the fact that chicken gravy is often made with milk, that spaghetti bolognese is sometimes made with milk and that jam could be made with butter. Who knew?

You might find this post on dairy free baking quite helpful as well as this page which lists some of our favourite dairy free products.

When it comes to finding recipes, I've found that although you can buy expensive cookbooks or free from magazines (I've bought loads over time, which I hardly use), actually you can find a recipe for most things, just by looking online. This page lists a selection of other blogs which you may find useful.

If you're looking for dairy free cooking sauces, check out Tesco Free From section - they even now have a ready-made dairy free white sauce!


15) Celebrations

Christmas, Easter, Valentine's Day etc. means chocolate and all kinds of other goodies. There are dairy free alternatives and this page can help you find what you're looking for - so you don't have to miss out.

A few other little top tips for you:

1) Shopping

When I first went dairy free, food labelling was done a little bit differently, to how it is now. You will need to check every food label for 'milk' usually written in bold. You do still need to keep your wits about you, as one food manufacturer didn't think goat's cheese need to be labelled (as it wasn't cow's milk) and another listed yogurt, but didn't highlight that it was made with milk. 

Depending on how sensitive you/your little one is to milk and milk traces, you may also need to watch out for items that say they 'may contain' milk. This post explains why.

For tips on where to find your dairy free essentials (and luxuries) see here.


2) Medications

Medication can sometimes be made with dairy. Always remind your doctor/pharmacist and ask them to check anything that is prescribed/recommended for you/your little one.


3) Soaps & Lotions & Other Stuff!

Cleopatra famously bathed in milk and in modern times milk is still considered good for the skin. It's worth knowing that a LOT of soaps, shower gels, hand creams lotions, potions and even some washing-up liquids are made with milk! You may need to be aware of other words associated with milk, such as whey and casein, when you check through ingredients labels.

Just to warn you, although you may not be abstaining whilst breastfeeding, wine might also contain milk - believe it or not, it's used for clarifying the wine (as is egg, funnily enough). However, you may be pleased to hear that it's not always the case!


4) Probiotics

There's been a huge wealth of research recently into how allergies may be due to the kinds and lack of 'good' bacteria in our gut. It seems strange but true. Very recent research has shown that formula with this good bacteria added to it, has appeared to help overcome allergies in allergic babies (see here for article). 

If you're breastfeeding, your milk is packed full of probiotics anyway (see here), but scientists are still carrying out research into whether lactating mothers might be able to take probiotics to boost the probiotics in their milk and help their allergic little ones. You can't add just any probiotics Lactobacillus rhamnosus GG seems to be the most beneficial, but they've not yet reached the stage where it is regarded as a treatment.


5) If you slip up...

It's not unknown, slip-ups can happen. Somehow you eat/drink something with milk in. If this happens, and if your baby is quite sensitive, it will go through you and affect your baby. Don't beat yourself up about it, but there are some things you can do about it. 

It goes against the grain if you want to solely breastfeed, but it could be best for baby if you express your milk for a day or so, and formula feed instead. There are some dairy free formulas out there (see here), which you have to get on prescription. If you can get your doctor to get you an advance prescription, these will speed things up in the long run, as pharmacies don't tend to keep stocks of it and it can take a few days to order the formula in.


6) The mechanics

Any purely practical help, regarding the mechanics of breastfeeding, I would suggest getting in touch with La Leche League (their counsellors are excellent), or checking out Kelly Mom, a website from across the pond, with really great advice.




Well there it is, a whole load of stuff for you to consider! It's taken me some while to put all this info together - things I wish I'd known at the outset and some of which I've had to learn the hard way. And here's me still hoping I've included everything and still wondering what else I've missed! 

Hope you're not too overwhelmed by it all. It will get easier for you I promise!!

Be kind to yourself - the chocolate is pricier than normal, but actually...
I think you NEED, nay DESERVE it!  ;)


7) Finally...

Some advice from Carina Venter specialist pediatric allergy dietitian shared via Twitter:

• No need to change diet during breastfeeding (except where allergen affecting child passes through breastmilk)
• Aim to breastfeed for at least 4-6 months
• Introduce food from 4 months, but don't delay beyond six months
• If from a high risk family and breastfeeding is not possible or insufficient, use a partially hydrolysed  formula or extensively hydrolysed formula (as prescribed by a doctor).

Happy Breastfeeding!! 

Related posts: 

Is breastfeeding the dairy free baby finally over?


Finding the perfect formula for the dairy free baby

Is breastfeeding the dairy free 'Baby' finally over?

BIG disclaimer: 
Sorry but I feel the need to state this at the outset, because breastfeeding is oft controversial: This post is neither a 'for' or 'against' breastfeeding post! It is what it is - a description of my own experiences which may or may not help anyone else in similar circumstances!!


Well that's it then... I think! 

I cautiously say I think I can safely say my days of breastfeeding the dairy free 'Baby' are finally over, but with 'Baby'* you never know! She was sniffing at my boobs again this morning, but I laughed and gently nudged her away. She didn't protest.

Over the last few months, the odd times she has tried (just to see if there's been anything there for her) her efforts haven't been met with any success. That said, she hasn't tried that hard and I've not encouraged her - half suspecting that if she persisted she might get somewhere!

You might be wondering what on earth I'm on about - especially if you've done the sums and worked out her age - I mean she's five and at school now. You may well be thinking:

'She can't still be breastfeeding, surely??'

Well to be honest, it's not been proper breastfeeding for some time now - just the odd suckle or two first thing in the morning whilst she's still 'coming round' from sleep. A few quick draws on the boob and she's been done! And then maybe the odd jump on my lap, when she's been tired or hurt herself and needed comfort or something like that. 

I could perhaps have got tough and stopped her earlier, but I let it drift - in the end partly as an experiment - because I was curious as to how long she would take over the process and partly because, as a hang-over from the last vestiges of her separation anxiety days. I didn't want her to feel as though she's been pushed away - that always seemed to make her anxiety worse and her behaviour more needy. These days, no-one would ever know she was ever anxious about anything - she seems so confident and sure of herself when she's out and about!! But the last vestiges still remain. If she wakes, in the middle of the night, she hates to find herself alone and creeps back into our bed!

I have to say, if you had told me that I was going to breastfeed this long a few years ago, particularly at the time I was struggling to feed my little one, I would have thought you were talking utter rubbish. Breastfeeding this long is certainly NOT what I originally intended, but then I'm not sure I ever really worked out when it was you were supposed to finish - they didn't touch on this subject, not even once at breastfeeding school!!

It's okay... I know now - it's whenever you/your little one feel ready, but why didn't they make that clear at the outset?? Where was the guidance for that?

Some of you may well think we're strange... abnormal even. You may have given up breastfeeding at three, six, nine or possibly twelve months with nary a backwards glance. Or maybe when your little one was days or even hours old. I used to think that too, before that extended breast feeder was me!!

Truth is, 'round the world, in various civilizations, breastfeeding for the first few years is actually the norm! We in the UK are the ones who are strange! And having dropped it, I kind of feel like we've lost the 'knowledge' of what to do in various situations. 

This post by a Canadian certainly opened my eyes... and had me in stitches at some points too! Another inspiring post, offering an African perspective, can be seen here.

I'm not saying it was all plain sailing - initially, when I was desperate to be able to breastfeed, it was a real struggle.

We had problems latching on, breastfeeding dairy free, there were painful infected cracks in my nipples that soon became craters. There was also a tongue tie to snip, a touch of mastitis and poor milk supply. Once all these problems were 'sorted' and I'd settled in to feeding my little one... oh, and got over the agony of needing-to-avoid-dairy, it became a normal part of life. She needed sustenance, warmth, comfort and I gave it to her. 

Later on, during weaning, when 'Baby' refused to take the alternative, (Nutramigen AA hypo-allergenic formula, in our case) I continued to breast feed, not having any idea at that stage, that various ways around this problem might exist. All I knew was that she needed calcium and that my milk could provide it for her, but I also knew that milk was a great safety net when she fell ill. Usually, when she could eat nothing else, my milk got her through and no doubt (filled with antibodies), helped her get well.

'Baby' was a hungry baby. In fact she was such a hungry baby, that I ended up switching to breastfeeding on demand to keep up my supply. And, demand she certainly did - day or night. Lack of sleep became a bit of an issue. There's no doubt that those night time feeds were a killer. She DID need them beyond six months, whatever my HV told me to the contrary. AND woe betide me, if I failed to supply! Ear splitting screaming would follow and living in a flat above a woman who had complained about the noise, before I'd even had a baby, well... I didn't like to argue the toss! 

Of course there were points where I got fed up and never thought I'd see the day where 'Baby' would come to an end! However, over time, as she needed me less, she'd ask less and I stopped offering it up so readily - especially as she got older and could have things explained. I made excuses, or said, 'Not now!' when previously (certainly when she was tiny) I'd have dropped all for a feed. 

More recently, I've had little chats with her now and then - about the fact she's such a big girl and doesn't really need it anymore. 'But I love it Mummy!' It's so yummy!' has been her protest. I still didn't push, let it lie, gave her time to absorb the information, think, decide.

Fortunately for me, The Hub has been very understanding and let me do as I thought best, and if family/friends thought it all a bit strange, at least they didn't say so to my face!

I have seen comments (usually from men) which accuse people like me of getting a cheap abnormal thrill from breastfeeding. This couldn't have been further from the truth. Although I had read that it was possible to get a 'pleasurable' feeling from breastfeeding, certainly in the early days it was anything but - I was in agony! And later on, it was just routine - what 'Baby' needed, 'Baby' got. There was nothing sexual in it for me; just the emotional pleasure that I got from being able to nurture my baby and give her what she needed.

I have seen other comments (usually from women) accusing people like me of being needy - of needing to be needed. I honestly don't think this was true either. As she got older and I realised that she really didn't need my milk any more (by this time she was happily drinking the junior version of Alpro soya milk) she just seemed to need my milk as a way to connect back with me, keep me anchored down all to herself. And I was content to let her, if she felt the need, although I didn't make any more offers.

Some deride extended breast feeding, thinking it will make the poor child needy and over-dependent on their mother, or cause them to be laughed at. Well for one thing, I've never been one for feeding in public (witness the lack of breast feeding photo here), unless I have to, and regarding the other, well, it's true that 'Baby' often prefers me when it comes to giving comfort. However, as I have been her major care-giver throughout her life so far, I don't think this is abnormal. She seems happy and well-adjusted enough - often dismissing me at the school gates, so she can go on her own little independent way. This, when some of her classmates have been clinging on to their mothers and crying! And I refuse to let it show, if I feel brushed off somewhat - it's time to let my little bird fly.

I used to worry a lot about what people would say - in case I was written off as some Earth mother hippy type (I am not, but who cares if I am). I have to say, I no longer worry about what people think. I just do what I think is best for 'Baby' and me! I think that's one advantage of having to work and even fight my way through the process of motherhood and being dairy free - I've learned to trust my instincts and stand my ground a whole lot more. 

And curiously, not being sure how I would feel, once breastfeeding was over, I find that I feel no regret, no hand wringing, no sighing for times past. I find instead that I am content that things are as they should be... 

And now that I no longer need to be dairy free for the purposes of breastfeeding, now what, for me?

Well avoiding dairy has never been about conscience or of seeking to live a 'healthier' life-style - that is a luxury for other people to consider as far as I'm concerned. I might still use almond milk and eat Coyo coconut yoghurt, as I really like them, but on the whole I've had enough of limiting my diet. I certainly would like to be able to reintroduce cow's milk back into my diet - if only to widen my choices again and not be worrying about traces. However, I have heard of mothers who have breastfed for a while finding themselves unable to tolerate cow's milk any more. I am curious to see what the end result for me will be. I think I will begin slowly, with the milk ladder, spread my wings, take my chances and see...

My only hesitations concern whether having more milk, cheese etc. in the house will lead to cross-contamination slip ups. With 'Baby' still being dairy free we don't want that! Also, up until now, it's always been her and me dairy free against the world together. I don't want her to feel stranded and... on her own - like I fear she often does at school. Maybe I'll have to be a secret dairy consumer - you know, late at night, or whilst she's at school! But really, I'm just hoping that it won't be long before she'll join me - on the other side and be able to enjoy it herself! After all, there have been some promising indications recently... and five is the age that they said it might happen!

Here's hoping!!

If you've been through the same and have any tips for me, I would love to hear from you!

* 'Baby' is clearly not a baby anymore and hasn't been for some while. She only remains 'Baby' for the purposes of this blog, where she has been known as 'Baby' from the beginning!

Related Posts:

After the diagnosis... breast or bottle?

Breastfeeding a baby with cow's milk allergy means no more milk for me

Which dairy free milk is best?

Finding the perfect formula for the dairy free baby

Weaning the Dairy Free Baby - First Steps

Are you getting enough... Calcium?

Weaning the Dairy Free Baby - First Steps!

There are so many things that I wish I'd learned at breastfeeding school! We only had one session and they made it appear all so easy-peasy and although I'd like to stress that I am a big fan of breastfeeding, I definitely feel that they left a few things out. One of which was when to stop!

First Step - When to stop the Breast?

The way they talked about it, I was left assuming that once you had finished your six month stint, Baby was onto solid food and off we all went - sailing into the sunset with nary a backward glance. Well they didn't necessarily give that message, but no-one discussed when or how you 'gave up' breastfeeding! 

Obviously now I know that when you give up breastfeeding is a personal choice. How you give up, I'm still not sure about - because I'm still breast feeding Baby at a time when most mothers have long since kissed goodbye to the whole affair. I did read Gina Ford's advice about replacing breast feeds with bottle feeds one at a time, but having switched to feeding on demand (in order to keep the milk flowing) I'm a bit clueless as to how you stop a demand fed baby from requesting a feed. 

Mind you, I'm not fretting over it. The reason I'm still going, is partly because I still feel I have something to give her that she can't get elsewhere; partly because she definitely still wants it and finally because I have the luxury of being at home with her. If I'd had to go back to work, it wouldn't have been so easy.

When we first discovered that Baby had a cow's milk protein allergy, at the end of her first month, I was given the option. The paediatrician was perfectly willing to write the prescription. I could there and then have switched straight onto hypo-allergenic formula and indeed Nutramigen AA was prescribed, as I was encountering problems with breastfeeding. 

However, my main reason for continuing with breastfeeding was that I was concerned about Baby's main or even only source of nutrition being some manufactured formula, which I soon discovered (when I was using it as a supplement) left strange tiny little white bumps all over the skin on her face. 

Another good reason (the way I saw it) was that I was aware that breastfeeding until six months was advised as a way of preventing food allergies arising, and, as she had one major food allergy already, I certainly wanted to do my best to prevent the development of any others!!

I had hoped that Baby would be one of the lucky ones, who grew out of her allergy fairly quickly. So I aimed to breastfeed her, until six months or until that happened. Unfortunately not having reached that particular milestone, before the magic age of six months, it was back to the special formula we'd been given, in order to introduce her to solids. 

Fortunately, we already had a formula to turn to. If you need a special formula, you will need to see a Doctor in order to be prescribed an alternative. There are several out there and professional advice is required in order to work out which is the best one for your baby. Unfortunately, finding the right formula is only the beginning, as babies can develop ideas of their own and reject it! I have heard that it can be flavoured with strawberry Nesquik, but never got around to trying this myself.

Next - Moving onto solids

To begin with, Baby seemed okay with Nutramigen mixed with her favourite baby cereal or with baby rice. There was no sign of the tiny bumps that had appeared when she had been bottle fed. I thought all was going swimmingly, until Hipp Organic thoughtlessly discontinued manufacturing her favourite cereal!! 

After that, Baby didn't seem to take to any others and eventually I gave up, as she would steadfastly refuse to accept a single mouthful! Stumped, all we could do was to offer Baby vegetable or fruit purées instead - fortunately discovering one that was bulked up with a bit of granola, which made it a bit more filling. But I was concerned that Baby might be missing essential vitamins/minerals that were only available through cow's milk and I knew that I really needed a little more professional help/advice.



Getting professional advice

Not having weaned a Baby before (let alone one that couldn't have what everyone else seemed to be having) I wanted to ensure that I was properly prepared for weaning, especially as she was still unable to tolerate cow's milk. I knew that this was still the case, because of breaches in my diet that had led to a return of the familiar symptoms. Thankfully, our GP responded swiftly to my request to be referred a dietitian. Unfortunately, some people seem to have real problems with this process and have to battle it out.

In the meantime, I read books, magazines etc. and attended local Health Visitor led sessions. I did wonder (as some people advocate baby led weaning) whether we needed to be in too much of a hurry, but it was from the Health Visitor that I learned (shock, horror) that breast milk did not contain sufficient iron for a growing Baby! 

In fact the iron content of breast milk drops from the age of six months. Formula milk is specially fortified, of course, but the ideal thing is to get them onto iron-rich foods, like meat, fairly quickly. Something else, then, that they neglected to tell me in breastfeeding school!

However, the Health Visitor was, unfortunately, not all that well equipped to help much with the dairy free aspect of weaning. I was a bit disappointed with the Health visitor's lack of knowledge, especially when you think that 2% or 3% babies will experience problems with cow's milk. In fact, there were at least two other woman in our village (whose babies were the same age as mine) who also suffered from the same problem.  It was just as well, therefore, that Baby and I had the appointment with the Dietitian lined up.

The Dietitian was excellent, she offered advice on weaning Baby, but didn't neglect me as a breastfeeding mother. The Dietitian was also able to offer me another alternative, when I mentioned Baby's lack of enthusiasm for Nutramigen. She told me that babies start to develop the ability to detect bitter tastes around six months of age. This was actually very useful, when our ancestors were hunter gatherer types, because bitter plants are often poisonous. However, breast milk is very sweet apparently and Nutramigen not so. No wonder Baby rejected it - she's obviously inherited my sweet tooth! 

The Dietitian's answer was to try another formula. This one, PaediaSure Peptide, I plucked up the courage to try myself. It was vanilla in flavour but left a dry chalky feeling on my tongue and made me feel thirsty. Not surprisingly, Baby rejected this one too! For her, only breast milk would do! 

Alpro Junior Plus 1 has a lot in it!

More recently, this has begun to change - now she's that bit older we have introduced her to Alpro Junior Plus 1. I was hesitant at first, partly due to my own intolerance to soya milk, but also because there have been health concerns about soya milk. Baby enjoys this as a milk drink and has had it on cereal, although she prefers her cereal dry! As it is fortified with essential vitamins and minerals, there is less worry about lack in her diet. However, she still really prefers the Boob!

Prepared to support my decision to breastfeed, the Dietitian quizzed me carefully, to find out how often and for how long Baby was breastfed. She checked to make sure I was getting enough calcium and then she dropped another bombshell - Breast milk contained very little Vitamin D and therefore baby was going to need drops. Why didn't they teach that one in Breastfeeding School?

We were recommended to use Abidec - they produce vitamin drops for infants as well as children and are quite widely available. However, be warned! The infant drops are made with peanut oil and although the manufacturers remove the protein, Baby seemed to develop a reaction to them. 

It took some time to for the reaction to develop and longer to work out what was causing the problem. This reaction is, I believe, most unusual. Now that Baby is over the age of one, we could use Abidec's other drops which are fish-based, but we haven't tried those  just yet. It was just as well that we heeded another piece of advice, which was to completely avoid nuts altogether, even peanut butter, which was just as well considering what was to come further on down the line. 

The problem is, if a baby has a food allergy, there is the possibility that there may be more lurking. I had been warned to be careful to introduce one thing at a time - even with spices. Each new food was to be given four or five days in a row, in case it took a while for an allergic reaction to develop. 

Concerned that Baby might not get enough calories, as she wasn't having cow's milk, the Dietitian advised adding an extra spoonful of oil to Baby's portion of food. To be honest, I didn't really follow that piece of advice, too much, because Baby has a healthy appetite and apart from her first month of life has never particularly looked like she was wasting away!

In fact, Baby has done so well that my only other concerns have been over the fairly limited diet that Baby preferred to stick to, for quite a while and the fact that she wasn't eating her five-a-day. For ages, Baby only seemed to like fried egg for breakfast and lunch - not a whole one (I hasten to add) we mostly stuck to the yolk, as that was the bit she liked! However, the Dietitian was able to run through Baby's diet with me, was happy that she was getting the right nutrients and told me not to worry too much about that famous five-a-day. Babies, it seems, need much less fibre than adults. 

Only fried egg would do!

Knowing that has made me able to relax and discover that Baby, (given time, and provided with good healthy options) is actually fairly instinctive about what she needs - if she majors on one food group at one meal, she usually stocks up on others later. When a cold is brewing, like me, she suddenly craves juice! So apart from the early stages, when food needed to be introduced carefully, we have tended to go with the flow. 

We've gone for more of a 'Baby-led Weaning' approach - we tend to prepare food for ourselves that we know is suitable for her (avoid sugar and salt, as well as dairy, if you do this) which means much less stress all round. The only problem is, anything that's ours, is now fair game for her. 'I'm very clever at sharing,' she said happily the other day... as she helped herself to my lunch!!!



Update! 

Eggs, it turns out are even more brilliant than I realised. Researchers have recently found that eggs contain twice as much Vitamin D as was previously thought! Meaning they contain two thirds Vitamin D daily requirements!! Great news, for those who can have it!

These more recent posts may be useful for anyone wondering which dairy free milk is best:

Which dairy free milk is best?

Finding the perfect formula for the Dairy Free Baby


Further Reading:

Neocate Weaning Guide
Neocate Food Allergy Cookbook
Weaning and up to One Year
Feeding Tips for Toddlers: from One Year (Nutramigen)
Cow's Milk Free Weaning Diet (Norfolk NHS)