Well, I got asked THE question the other day, the one for which I've had to wait some time, and which I've been dreading. Some people have skirted around the question, perhaps not wanting to appear nosy, perhaps checking to see if I'll tell them that the reason my tummy is bulging is because there is another one on the way (to which the answer would be, 'Err, no!') rather than because I've just not managed to ping back to my original size. The question was, of course, the: 'Isn't it time to have another one?'
I dread this question because, being an honest person, I would feel obliged to tell them the truth, i.e. 'I really don't fancy going through all of that again,' and actually, more pertinently, 'I'm not sure that I can, because I'm not sure that my body would be up to it.'
The thing is, I'm the wrong side of forty now (just) and I had at least one miscarriage before Baby was conceived and at least one early miscarriage or 'natural abortion' since. Then there was pregnancy - I was very tired for at least the first half of the pregnancy (falling asleep on the sofa after dinner each night), appeared at one point as though I might be going to miscarry the pregnancy again, was terrified of catching some flu, contracted a condition that made me itchy all over, had very swollen ankles, and then to cap it all H.E.L.P syndrome (my liver'd had enough) which meant that once the doctors had worked out that it wasn't just a tummy bug (that took them a week, during which I barely ate) I had to go into hospital and have Baby induced. And, apparently, if you've had H.E.L.P syndrome once... it could happen again.
I won't even go into my birth story.
After the birth, there was Baby's jaundice (for which we were readmitted into hospital, almost as soon as we'd left), a month of not knowing what was wrong with baby before she was diagnosed, three months of painful breastfeeding (due to contracting an infection, which none of the medical professionals seemed to be able to solve) plus, I had to give up milk (and along with it, almost all my favourite food)! And to cap it all, I wouldn't be at all surprised if the antibiotics that I had to take to overcome the breast infection, upset the flora in my gut, leaving me with the problems that I now face. Have another? You must be joking!!
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| Dairy Free Baby as a newborn |
Don't get me wrong - I think Dairy Free Baby is gorgeous as she is, but I have often wistfully thought about how different and much more smooth life would be, if she wasn't allergic...
And yet, a tiny part of me is tempted! You see, it would be so nice for Baby to have a playmate. However, I would want a cast iron guarantee that my next one wouldn't also have any food allergies, but as far as I can tell there's no such thing!
I have been keeping my eye on the research that has come out about children and food allergies, to try and work out why it happened, to us, in the first place, and it turns out I was doing it all wrong! I only wish I'd known. If you want a non-allergic baby, here's what you must avoid:
1. Family History
The parents must not suffer from hay fever, or indeed any food allergies. If you do, then the chances of your children having food allergies (not necessarily the same as you) are greater. Oh dear! Bit of a risk factor here for us! Both The Hub and I have been known to be affected by the pollens and as for food allergies... where do I begin? Oh, and another thing you mustn't be Caucasian. If, like me, you are, then apparently we are more at risk - which puzzles me somewhat. I am, The Hub isn't. He's of Chinese descent! So where does that leave us? Now, although a lot of South East Asians are supposed to be allergic to milk, not one of The Hub's family is at all milk allergic and they find the whole thing very odd!
2. Location
Where you live is important. If you live in a city, you are more likely to have problems with allergies, whereas, if you were reared on a farm, you are less likely to be allergic. Apparently, just visiting a farm, or even living near one, is not enough! Well that's just unfortunate for us then!
3. Hygiene
If you are hygiene conscious (like me) then this one would be a nightmare for you. It seems that everyone really does need (just as the famous idiom declares) 'to eat a little bit of dirt'! Antibacterial chemicals, such as Triclosan, which is in many toothpastes (including mine) have been linked to increased incidence of food allergies. Whoops! And there was me using medicated wipes and being handed cans of Dettol to use in my classroom, whilst I was pregnant - to ward off the swine flu, which was a very real concern at the time I was pregnant!
4. Nutrition
Vitamin D deficiency has been linked to allergy (although the thinking on this seems to keep see-sawing back and forth, according to continuing studies)! There is, would you believe, not so much incidence of food allergy near the equator? This is one of the reasons that pregnant mums need to be taking supplements. I must admit, when I was pregnant, my Vitamin D levels can't have been too good. I spent half the summer inside, avoiding encounters with pollen, and the other half inside trying to empty my classroom and sort out the nursery (which was full of stuff commonly known as 'junk').
5. Nuts
I was interested to see this one doing the rounds again, just this week. I was told by the midwives that as I had suffered from hay fever, for most of my life, I should avoid eating nuts when pregnant to avoid a risk of Baby developing food allergies. More recently, research appeared that suggested the opposite. As a result of which, the NHS recommends including nuts as part of a varied diet whilst pregnant
Like Vitamin D deficiency, the thinking on this keeps changing with each new study. Recently, it appeared (according to one study) that one should avoid nuts again and not just during pregnancy but also breastfeeding. Doh! I just couldn't help reaching for that packet of M & Ms, when I was pregnant - I was craving them so badly! However, I'm not going to beat myself up about that one. More research seems to point in the other direction.
Moreover, I was interested to read reactions of a number mothers, to this research. More than one parent of twins (having either eaten nuts or abstained) had interestingly enough, one child born with severe allergies to food, whilst their twin had nothing at all to worry about!
Like Vitamin D deficiency, the thinking on this keeps changing with each new study. Recently, it appeared (according to one study) that one should avoid nuts again and not just during pregnancy but also breastfeeding. Doh! I just couldn't help reaching for that packet of M & Ms, when I was pregnant - I was craving them so badly! However, I'm not going to beat myself up about that one. More research seems to point in the other direction.
Moreover, I was interested to read reactions of a number mothers, to this research. More than one parent of twins (having either eaten nuts or abstained) had interestingly enough, one child born with severe allergies to food, whilst their twin had nothing at all to worry about!
6. Primogeniture
Just thought I'd throw that term in, to confuse you! What I mean by that, is the order in which you were born. If you're the first born child in a family, you are apparently more likely to be the one who suffers. It's thought that after having her first, and indeed with each child that follows, a woman's immunity improves, so decreasing the risk of developing allergies. There's one glimmer of light for us then!
7. Autumnal Birth
This is the one that I've not seen mooted for some time, so they may have discounted it again by now. But, not long after baby was born and we discovered her cow's milk protein intolerance, I came across an article which seemed to suggest that researchers had made a link between babies born in November/December time and allergies. It was (ahem) in the Daily Mail (and so, of course, The Hub was sceptical) but the thinking behind it was that such babies are in the crucial early stages of foetal development during the pollen season, and that this had some bearing on their immunity to allergens. Other researchers link the findings to Vitamin D deficiency (again).
Regarding our recent family history, that kind of made sense to me. Both Baby and I were born in that period - as a teacher, I saw children who were born in the summer who found school work more difficult (it doesn't always follow) so I specifically wanted and planned an autumn baby. None of my siblings were - they were all born between March to June and none of them are allergic to hay or food, or much else for that matter! However, my parents, both born in November, have no problems and so kind of turns that theory on its head!
Regarding our recent family history, that kind of made sense to me. Both Baby and I were born in that period - as a teacher, I saw children who were born in the summer who found school work more difficult (it doesn't always follow) so I specifically wanted and planned an autumn baby. None of my siblings were - they were all born between March to June and none of them are allergic to hay or food, or much else for that matter! However, my parents, both born in November, have no problems and so kind of turns that theory on its head!
A Conclusion (of sorts)
Following all this research, I have come to some kind of conclusion - that all the research becomes somewhat bewildering and confusing after a while. It leaves you not really knowing who to believe, which way to turn, or what to do. Especially as one thing I have discovered is that research teams can sometimes be funded by some company or organisation with some sort of axe to grind - which leads one to doubt the purity of their motives as well as the conclusions that they reach. Maybe, the best thing to do, is ignore it and carry on regardless and take whatever comes your way.
If I do decide to have another (they say you should never say never) there's nothing I can do anything about my family history or location, but... I will try to reduce my dependency on anti-bacterials and other chemicals like parabens - less chemicals is better for us anyway. I will continue to take Vitamin D - there are plenty of health benefits associated with taking Vitamin D. I will plan to have a baby in September or October (or failing that February, March or April, as I'm still a teacher at heart) and will continue to eat nuts - my diet is limited enough already and I'm just not convinced by the evidence!
If I do decide to have another (they say you should never say never) there's nothing I can do anything about my family history or location, but... I will try to reduce my dependency on anti-bacterials and other chemicals like parabens - less chemicals is better for us anyway. I will continue to take Vitamin D - there are plenty of health benefits associated with taking Vitamin D. I will plan to have a baby in September or October (or failing that February, March or April, as I'm still a teacher at heart) and will continue to eat nuts - my diet is limited enough already and I'm just not convinced by the evidence!
Now, throw me some of your thoughts...
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